Question: Four beats per line, does it stifle or help this poem?

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Answer #1:

The four beats makes this feel tight and sharp and quick. Very appropriate for this write, in my opinion.

Answer #2:

It's actually two beats per line, and four syllables, but your question is still valid.
The sense of restriction suggested by the format is appropriate to the theme, so for me, yes, it works.
I also like the way the slant rhymes shift into the true rhymes, again suggesting freedom becoming regimented.
Good one!

Answer #3:

I quite like it, though maybe it doesn't tie in completely with the aspect of "being free", though it doesn't really matter as you shouldn't think about poetry that deeply.
I like this, it details the beliefs of children that can be quite enchanting, I experienced the same, my mind still wanders to such topics.

Answer #4:

I really like this one, yes...
It's very good that you can make 4 beats per line,
many people would have SO much trouble doing that.
NICE!

Answer #5:

The 4 beats worked well for me when I was reading this. The lines moved swiftly

Answer #6:

No, it's appropriate for someone remembering when they were three.

Answer #7:

I found this lyrical and solid, corralled by the tight rhythm even in its transitions previously commented on! Very nice; your nick is now, officially, a misnomer! Please don't be...

Write on...





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